Girl of the Day – Jennifer Love Hewitt

So I’ve been crushing on JLH since she was on that show Party of Five….that I never watched…cause I didn’t. Anyway, there was always just something about her sexy body and innocent expressions that drove me crazy. She has this amazing smile that just lights up the screen. Just as powerful is that little sad face she makes…yeah you know what I’m talking about. It seriously makes you want to jump in the screen and kick the shit out of whoever is making her make the. More then just looks, she’s multitalented. She’s the executive producer on her show, the Ghost Whisperer…not that I watch that either. This girl is fine as hell but is so innocent looking you almost feel bad for having dirty thoughts about her…almost.

It’s Not You, It’s Me

Women hate that phrase. To most of them it’s the guy’s get out of jail free card for ending or preventing a relationship without a solid explanation. The slightest mention of the phrase is enough to send women into furious a rage. Then the questions come: Am I not pretty enough, was it something I did, is it my family, is it my friends? They can’t grasp that maybe there is nothing wrong with them at all, the guy simply can’t make the commitment to her like she would like him to. Even worse is the fact that sometimes she just isn’t what he wants or needs, but there is in fact nothing wrong with her. It’s not her, it’s him.

So what do you do when this is the only truth you know, or the only truth you want to give for the sake of her feelings? I mean let’s be honest, the wrong words can crush a woman and damage her beyond belief. Why would any guy want the responsibility of pointing out exactly what it is about her that makes her not right for him? It’s not as if she could just change it, and if she did she wouldn’t be true to herself. You got to love people as they are or not at all, at least in the romantic sense. But a woman that doesn’t exactly match what you’re looking for can still be loved by you, just not in a relationship setting. It seem to make more sense to give her the honest but less hurtful answer of it’s not you it’s me, then to point out the things about her you don’t like. They are not flaws on her part, just personal preferences on his.

Now most women will immediately jump to the assertion that this is all about looks. We’ll why lie, a good portion of it is. How can you have a true, lasting relationship with someone you don’t have passion and desire for? That’s only part of it though. Everyone has specific needs in their lives that they need to have met in order to be happy. What good does it do to lie to yourself about these needs?

It’s about being honest with yourself and her. If you want a glamorous girl on your arm, and you can never seem to get your girl to get dressed up the way you’d like, that’s a fair reason to end it. And the statement would be true, honest, and respectful. It’s not that there is something wrong with her; it’s that you want something that she’s no providing. A woman can call this shallow but they do this to us all the time. Not that they can really be blamed for it. What’s the point of being in a real adult relationship with someone that you don’t think is perfect for you?

This is even harder when you actually do care about the woman deeply but can’t be with her because she’s just not right for you. She’s going to continue to try to break out of that friendship zone which causes tension. She can’t be that total confidant because once you start talking about going out with other people or anything similar the claws come out. This tension remains and grows. The more you care about the girl the harder it gets. Much of that tension could be elevated if a woman would just take the truth “it’s not you, it’s me” at its real value and not dismiss it as an excuse. We don’t need excuses. If we don’t want to be with a woman and we want to be a dick about it we can just cut her out of our lives completely. It’s because we care that we say these things.

So if you’re going to use “it’s not you, it’s me” to try to get a woman to understand, be warned. Even though it’s probably the truest thing you can say to her, she’s not going to accept at face value And if she really insists on knowing why she’s not what you need…maybe you have to let her take her heart into her own hands and pull the trigger. Even then she won’t understand that it’s not that there is something wrong with her, Its just a desire for something she’s not providing.

Girl of the Day – Eva Longoria

I think it’s a fair bet that Tony Parker has as much game on the court as he does off of it. He’d have to, to have landed the very beautiful and sexy Eva. She’s got one of the cutest pouty faces I’ve ever seen. Aside from rocking one of the hottest bodies in Hollywood, she sounds sexy as hell when she yells in Spanish. I wouldn’t be counting on her cooking you rice and beans though. She seems like the kinda gal that expects something French for dinner…and you had actually better get it from France.

She’s Trouble

So I’m just going to jump right in. What do you do when you have an incredibly beautiful woman who you want to have in your life but is simply a walking calamity as far as the damage she does to your life. Now I know most people will pipe in with the automatic “you just have to get rid of her”, but lets be honest, how easy is that. I’m not just talking about a cute gal you like to hang out with; I’m talking about a woman you’ve genuinely fallen in love for.

I guess some background is in order. I met this beautiful woman as I was walking outside my lawyer’s building. She was with two of her friends, also breathtakingly beautiful. Feeling confident and being in a good mood, I complimented her on her beauty as I passed her. She stopped and we talked for a min. That was that. We exchanged numbers and my phone bill exploded that next month. With the amount of time we talked, upping my service plan was a necessity not an option.

This girl was bad! She was sexy as hell, she ran her own modeling agency, and had this sweetness about her that just made you want to throw your arms around her. As we talked though, the other side of the coin became visible. I found out that she had a serious eating disorder that had become life threatening; alcoholic doesn’t even being to explain the depth of her addiction, she had begun experimenting with drugs, she was getting into legal trouble with DUI after DUI, and she was basically driving her company into the ground by making one bad decision after another.

Clearly this was my cue to back off, but she told me that she wanted to change…and that she need me to help her do it. Despite all of the crazy shit she was doing, I really could see this amazing woman inside of her that could come out if she could overcome her demons. So I stayed, and offered her the help that she desired. I honest to god went above and beyond the call of duty of which any man should ever be asked to sacrifice.

Long story short, she found every way possible to hurt me. Even so, I stayed the course and did everything in my power to try and save her. So much so that in the end, I’m the one that almost required saving. I gave her ever chance to keep me in her life and to take her life back from the darkness. Instead she chose a life of an out of control rich girl.

So I made my peace with that and tried to move on as best I could. Clearly it wasn’t easy but I was doing my damn thing. Months go by with no word from her. Then suddenly she starts calling me again, telling me that she needs me in her life. The worst part about it is that’s exactly what I wanted to hear. I know I can’t trust her, but I also can’t stop loving her. I know there is a point where you have to draw the line and put an end to it all, but where? Even though I won’t allow her back into my life, I can’t shake the memories or my love for her.

It’s crazy how much damage a woman can do once you let her in past your armor. It’s a distraction and keeps me from being absolutely focused like I’d like to be. I’m just not sure what the best course of action is. It’s hard because I know I truly loved her…there is no other way that I could have put up with all of her faults. Even so, at what point is the juice no longer worth the squeeze?

What Women Want (Video 2)

In this installment of What Women Want, the video covers what it is women notice about men on the street. Not really any surprises here but it’s interesting to hear women describe what catches their interest. Again, these videos are filmed in Australia, but I think the things they say are pretty universal…at least in the western world. So here is the video for you’re viewing pleasure. Feel free to leave a comment, we always look forward to hearing what you, the reader, have to say.

10 Habits of Happy People

 

7 habits of really happy people

1. Don’t care what others think

They don’t care what others think or have to say. If they did, they wouldn’t let themselves free and be happy because of the possibility of scrutiny.

Really happy people also never let negative people and their attitudes get to them. Whatever the negative people say or do just rolls off the backs of the happy people.

2. Always looking at the bright side of things

No matter what situations are thrown at a happy person, they look for the bright side. Everything that is negative has a positive side to it. Negativity wouldn’t exist without positivity. Happy people know this and have practiced looking for the bright side so much that now it has become a habit. And even if a happy person can’t find the bright side of something, they’ll create it.

3. Being friendly

Happy people are always looking to make friends. They don’t care what you look like or what background you come from, they just want someone new to laugh and be happy with. And by default happy people are friendly; everyone wants to be happy as well and are drawn to them.

If you know a friendly person who is always making fun of others to bring them down, then they aren’t truly happy person. There’s something inside of them that they are insecure about.

4. Laugh & Smile

This habit goes along with being friendly. I have NEVER seen a happy person not smile or laugh. It just isn’t physically possible. However, a really happy person smiles so much that they turned it into a habit. You might even see them smiling for no real reason, it’s that natural to them. Laughing is another mandatory habit of really happy people. If you or they aren’t laughing, then there’s no true happiness.

5. Live in the moment

Really happy people make the most of every minute and day they have. They aren’t going to wait to have fun; they’re going to create fun now.

6. Push aside their troubles

Even if a happy person can’t find or create the positive side of a situation, they do the next best thing, they push it aside. They forget about it and move on because they know it’s only temporary and they know they can make their troubles leave even sooner.

7. Laugh in the face of fear

Just like the rest of us, really happy people have fears. Most of the time they just don’t display it. Happy people make jokes to lighten the mood and to make others feel more relaxed so they will too.

8. Don’t Dwell on Past Mistakes

Can’t walk forward with looking forward. You can’t change what already happened. You miss opportunities because you don’t see them when they arise.

9. Seize the Opportunities

Take smart chances where you know the goods and the negatives, but if you feel you can do something, do it.

10. Separate Yourself From Negative People

Negative things happen to me surrounded by negative people. If you have to look over your shoulder every second to make sure someone isn’t going to jump you, how could you possibly be truly happy.

 

An Excerpt see full story on 

[ Via: http://www.lyved.com/people/7-habits-of-really-happy-people/ ]

No Grill Room No Problem!

 

You have a mess load of foods you want to grill and you live in an apartment or condo with no yard? No problem. Sonoma Williams sells this bad boy for a very palatable $299.95. Easy to clean and easy to use. 

[via: http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/5396171/index.cfm?pkey=cnewelt&cm%5Fsrc=hero ]

Samsung i8510 Innov8

Projected to be released in Mid 2009. This phone is a must have if you did not go for the 3G Iphone hype. This baby is capable of Video recording, 8 megapixel camera, and 16 gigs of memory included for that cutie at the bar you met and GPS to find her house after she gives you her address for a late night nightcap.

What Women Want (video 1)

Ok, so we’re starting a new series here on Contemporary Man. I happened to be browsing the net the other day and came across a series of videos in which this guy goes around interviewing women about what they want in a man. We’ll be posting those videos on here for your viewing pleasure.

On a personal note I’ve come to the conclusion that women have no idea what the hell they want. They’ll claim they do and will jump at the first opportunity to tell you if you ask them, though 9 times out of 10 it’s some rehashed bullshit fairytale list. “um, well, lets see…I want a guy that can walk on water, make me cum just with his smile, provide me with 10 closets so that I can store a lifetime of clothes that no longer fit, doesn’t mind turning off the TV two minuets before the end of the game just listen to me go on and on about why my drunk, snobby friends hate each other, is ok with letting Mr. Fuffels (a fat disgusting cat that farts all night) sleep with us, and is confident enough to not get jealous when my best guy friends slap me on the ass and call me babe. Ok, yeah it’s a bit much but some gals are like that. So anyway here is the first video on what women want in a man. Enjoy.

Dry-Rubbed Ribs

 

Summer is here and you can’t go wrong with grilling. I had to look around for a good Rib recipe and this should be it. 

 

Makes about 2 cups of dry rub

1/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/2 cup paprika (sweet or hot)
1/4 cup chili powder
2 tablespoons ground red pepper
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon ground mace
1/4 cup salt
1/4 cup cracked black peppercorns

Make your spice rub and cover those ribs in it ASAP. The longer they sit in the spices, the better, but let them sit at least an hour. Let them sit up to 24 hours if you want. Wrap them in plastic and refrigerate them until it’s almost time to put them on the grill. Let sit at room temperature for 10-15 minutes before putting to grill.